we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
