I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
