Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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