Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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