turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
