The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
