if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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