I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I need to stop coming to work sober
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize