Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
