Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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