Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
