sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now