I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
