Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.