I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity