Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?

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  (519): what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about? http://tfl.nu/blbh
  Replies (30) Good night (3643) Bad night (1269)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!

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  (970): What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk (1-970): That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at! http://tfl.nu/fm55
  Replies (80) Good night (1140) Bad night (3873)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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  (917): I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay http://tfl.nu/145k
  Replies (12) Good night (4166) Bad night (1215)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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  (610): I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible. http://tfl.nu/74be
  Replies (9) Good night (4308) Bad night (1002)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.

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  (412): i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that. http://tfl.nu/r7ph
  Replies (10) Good night (4688) Bad night (953)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.

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  (406): He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine. http://tfl.nu/2wf3
  Replies (14) Good night (1400) Bad night (3167)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  You're a rent hooker.

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  (201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3756) Bad night (1083)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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  (262): By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire... http://tfl.nu/1iat
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (740)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

  (352): View more from Florida

  Like they're going to fly away?

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  (407): I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much (352): Like they're going to fly away? http://tfl.nu/z6w4
  Replies (10) Good night (4924) Bad night (878)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
  Replies (11) Good night (2299) Bad night (620)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.

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  (304): The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke. http://tfl.nu/dnme
  Replies (9) Good night (2152) Bad night (538)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ you're perfect.

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  (307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (448)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.

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  (423): NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney. http://tfl.nu/1vaa
  Replies (2) Good night (1151) Bad night (431)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (339)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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  (908): She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters. http://tfl.nu/dcrj
  Replies (4) Good night (313) Bad night (289)

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