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• (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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• (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (936): View more from Texas

  The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.

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• (851): View more from

  Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

  (522): View more from

  Don't break up.

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• (+79): View more from

  You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do u remember buying that

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (817): View more from Texas

  My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do

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• (407): View more from Florida

  If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?

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