Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.

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  (860): The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't. http://tfl.nu/pwvs
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (1053)
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  (818): View more from California

  I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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  (818): I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/1x7g
  Replies (28) Good night (6283) Bad night (722)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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  (306): I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face... http://tfl.nu/9kl8
  Replies (9) Good night (1596) Bad night (4698)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  and who said we didn't have goals?

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  (219): my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus (317): and who said we didn't have goals? http://tfl.nu/piod
  Replies (12) Good night (4011) Bad night (925)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

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  (203): Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that. http://tfl.nu/1tq2
  Replies (39) Good night (3452) Bad night (5535)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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  (814): I wasted some perfectly good semen on her http://tfl.nu/b11w
  Replies (17) Good night (998) Bad night (5082)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.

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  (412): he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along. http://tfl.nu/2jm5
  Replies (32) Good night (1587) Bad night (5252)
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  (925): View more from California

  He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me

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  (925): He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me http://tfl.nu/mntk
  Replies (16) Good night (1051) Bad night (4862)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.

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  (269): Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus. http://tfl.nu/d22v
  Replies (20) Good night (9255) Bad night (1345)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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  (732): test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/cfpm
  Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (1857)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation

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  (941): Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation http://tfl.nu/t0q4
  Replies (15) Good night (1656) Bad night (548)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.

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  (502): I am way too attached to fictional lesbians. http://tfl.nu/axfm
  Replies (10) Good night (1171) Bad night (663)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial

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  (201): yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial http://tfl.nu/29ux
  Replies (15) Good night (1662) Bad night (479)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (436) Bad night (1246)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.

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  (865): I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend. http://tfl.nu/e59a
  Replies (7) Good night (1113) Bad night (357)

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