it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
