Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
