Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
