Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
