best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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