I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
