She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?