remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.