When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
