guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.