He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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