no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
