It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
