she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
