Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
