I think i peed on brittanys purse
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
