Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
