I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
