dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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