so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
