Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize