i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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