I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize