his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?