I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
