mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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