So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
