I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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