She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
