bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
