I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize