im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize