Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
