plz talk dirty to me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
