Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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