For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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