i think i have herpe
just one?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
