she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize