Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
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She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
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Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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