Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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