Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
