im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
