I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
