All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
