That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize