He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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