We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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