turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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