So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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