he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
