I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
