Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
