I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
