Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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