I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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