a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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