So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
