Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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