READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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