what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize