Whod you bang
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
