just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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